We’re finally here: the final WWE pay-per-view before WrestleMania 34. This Sunday night, we’ll have a better sense of the Mania scene, as we’ll know who the WWE Champion, SmackDown Women’s Champion, United States Champion, and SmackDown Tag Team Champions are. And we also might have a better sense of who those champs will be taking on in April in New Orleans.
At 8 p.m. ET, WWE Fastlane will begin, and we’ll get going on the live blog, too. Come join us for a show that, whether titles change or not, should have a few worthwhile matches on it. And hey, maybe the six-way main event will go off the rails, in a good way!
Charlotte Flair defends her SmackDown Women Championship against Ruby Riott
Charlotte is waiting to find out who she’ll be facing at WrestleMania 34, but before then, she’ll have to defeat Ruby Riott — Charlotte doesn’t have an automatic bid for Mania if she can’t get past Riott, but the reverse is also true.
Riott has been trying to poke holes in the Charlotte Flair mythos, and she did a pretty good job of it for the most part, in that way where the heel is correct but not correct enough for you to completely take their side. She also unveiled that the Riott Squad formed specifically to take out Charlotte, and now she’s got her chance for that to happen.
If the Bludgeon Brothers interrupt this match I swear
The Usos defend the SmackDown Tag Team Championships against The New Day
Here we go, your probable match of the night: the New Day are challenging the Usos for the SmackDown Tag Team Championships, and while this is a matchup we’ve seen a million times, we all know we’d match it a million more. These are the two best tag teams in WWE, and they’re going at it once more, with legacies and discussion of needing a WrestleMania appearance involved this time around.
Here we goooooooo
Xavier Woods starts out seriously intense, but gets a kick to the face that slows him down in a hurry and puts the Usos in control early.
Well here’s a good point:
I’m surprised after the Big E promo, he isn’t wrestling in this match. #WWEFastlane
— Cageside Seats (@cagesideseats) March 12, 2018
Are we going to give Big E his chance to shine at Mania in a rematch of this match? Both teams certainly deserve that stage, so let’s hope Big E sitting this one out is the hint I’m reading it as.
This crowd has not made a whole lot of noise since the opening match — thanks, Orton and Roode — but the Usos and New Day seem to be slowly reviving them. Kofi just hit a top-rope splash, and that finisher thievery is sure to annoy the Usos once they wake up. In fact, when Woods and Kofi went to do the tag-team version of the splash the Usos employ, they got themselves thrown off the top by said angry Uso.
DON’T YOU INTERRUPT MY POTENTIAL MATCH OF THE NIGHT, BLUDGEON BROTHERS, HOW DARE YOU, YOU’RE INTERRUPTING IT.
Okay so the good news is we’re going to get more New Day vs. Usos in the future. The bad news is that we’re getting it because the Bludgeon Brothers showed up to interrupt our happiness.
The Bludgeon Brothers do look dangerous here, so there’s that, but also their costumes are still horrible. At least they used those hammers to hurt people this time, though!
Pros and cons?
Cons: Usos vs. New Day was interrupted, the Bludgeon Brother costumes are still bad
Pros: Luke Harper wrecking everyone in his way is good, even if he’s wearing pants Kane would be embarrassed to be seen in.
Naomi and Becky Lynch vs. Natalya and Carmella
Yo all of Naomi’s hair is bright green under her entrance lights and it is great. I’s just a wig, not a blacklight-friendly dye job, but still.
I’m very interested to see if Carmella ends up eating the pin in this match — if she does, it makes me feel like she’s going to get a cash-in opportunity for her Money in the Bank briefcase at WrestleMania 34, because WWE loves to make it seem like the briefcase holder is totally useless and helpless before they cash in.
Carmella is dope as hell by the way so they really need to do something with her besides have her lose. Not that that has to start tonight, because Becky Lynch could also use a W like you read about. In fact, you just did!
Watching the ridiculous athletic things that Naomi can do makes me want to see her wrestle Asuka at some point. And oh wow, Natalya just tried to bury Naomi under the mat with that powerbomb. More of that, please.
Those “athletic things” do not include the “modified Stunner” that was so modified it forgot to do the stunning.
Carmella screams for Natalya, and the distraction manages to get Becky Lynch kicked in the face and pinned. So, Carmella doesn’t get pinned, but Becky manages to continue her pay-per-view losing streak. Can’t win them all, literally.
Just going to leave this here. You know, in case it’s accurate.
I just realized that Asuka is going to challenge Charlotte and win the SmackDown Women's title and then Carmella is going to break the streak by cashing in.
— Marc Normandin (@Marc_Normandin) March 12, 2018
Bobby Roode defends the United States Championship against Randy Orton and his head full of hair
Randy Orton is looking for the US title, as it would make him a Grand Slam Champion — he’s already been a tag team champ, 13-time WWE Champion, and an Intercontinental Champion, so all that’s missing is the other midcard title. Hey, if Orton becomes a Grand Slam champ, he’ll accomplish something his always-has-more-accolades peer John Cena has not.
This... could be good. It could also be plodding and merciless to anyone watching it. It doesn’t help that both Orton and Roode are faces here — sure, there have been sneak-attack RKOs, but like, that’s just Orton when he’s awake. Maybe we’ll get an explicit turn from one of the two or they’ll work fast teasing finishers and not go 15 minutes full of rest holds and stomps.
Jinder Mahal looms, of course, as he has over the United States Championship and Randy Orton for much of the last year, so maybe he’ll come in and shorten this affair while complicating it. Or we’ll get the slow-as-hell 15-minute version of this match and Mahal will interrupt once things pick up to setup a Mania match for the belt featuring a former NXT Champion and two of the WWE Champions since the last Mania.
For the record, they’re kind of in between plodding and aggressive. Some of the aggression is plodding, and some of it is aggressive, but it also looks like Randy Orton is picking up the pace already, too.
ah shit here come the slow stomps never mind
By the way it’s great that they’re posing this match as like, veteran vs. relative newcomer to WWE. It’s true so long as you keep the “to WWE” part of Roode’s portion, but he’s three years older than Orton and worked occasional matches for WWE before Orton ever debuted, then moved on to TNA full-time in 2004.
Also the crowd is now chanting for Byron Saxton if you’re wondering why I’m talking about this fun fact instead of recapping what’s going on in the match. Hey, a powerslam! Orton’s powerslam is so fast, and very pretty.
Orton goes for an RKO, but Roode counters and attempts to hit a Glorious DDT — that’s also countered, leading to a sequence that results in Orton being tossed outside of the ring.
Now Roode joined Orton outside the ring, and he paid for it by being thrown into the barricade — that was a wonderful sell by Roode, too, as he just completely stiffened and fell like a tree. Orton is going for the superplex — we’ve already had the DDT on the ropes and the powerslam, so maybe Randy thinks he needs to check off all the vintage moves before he can land that RKO against the champ.
Roode reverses the superplex into a sunset flip and a powerbomb, and the crowd sounds like they’re ready for this match to end. Will they get their wish?
Now we get the superplex from Orton, but he can’t get the three count after slowly crawling over to cover Roode. Orton reverses a Glorious DDT! Roode reverses an RKO! And now here’s a spinebuster that doesn’t get the three, so Roode is just sitting in the ring. This sequence is this match in a nutshell: brief moments of excitement followed by a lot of nothing happening.
And now we’re back to brief excitement! An RKO from Orton when Roode tries to attack from the turnbuckle, and Randy Orton is your new United States Champion and the latest Grand Slam champ in WWE history.
I’m not calling that one “out of nowhere!” like the announce team did, since Roode literally fell right into it via a jumping nothing off the ropes.
And here’s Mahal to yell at Orton, but he’s interrupted by Roode and a Glorious DDT — Roode hits Orton with one for good measure, too, so it looks like we will indeed end up in a three-way dance at Mania. YMMV on that result, but we can all agree on one thing: this match is over and we’re better for it.
Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Rusev
Nakamura vs. Rusev is the kind of match that can set the pace of a pay-per-view, and that’s what Fastlane is kicking off with. It should be noted that it can set the wrong kind of pace, depending on which version of Nakamura shows up, but if he’s going to go all-in against an opponent who deserves that in Rusev, this could get us all hyped for what comes after.
Shinsuke Nakamura won the Royal Rumble, and is guaranteed a shot at the WWE Championship at WrestleMania 34. It’s unclear who he’ll be facing — that’ll be solved in the main event at Fastlane — but in the meantime, he gets to wrestle Rusev, and on Rusev Day, even!
It’s really a shame we’ve got Rusev working heel here since the entire crowd is chanting for him — even after Aiden English dumped on Columbus in his intro for Rusev, the crowd still screamed “RUSEV DAY!” — but on the other hand, at least Rusev has a match at Fastlane, given his Mania path is still unknown.
Maybe we’ll get lucky and Rusev will come out of this looking like a million bucks even if he’s the loser, and it’ll help us get an eventual full-on Rusev vs. Nakamura program after Mania. A live blogger can dream, okay?
Dueling chants of “Nak-a-mur-a” and “Rusev Day!” going while Rusev and Nakamura take turns dishing out damage. Just let Rusev be a face, WWE, he’s so over with the crowd, everyone wants to cheer him even when he’s facing Nakamura!
Rusev’s alignment isn’t detracting from the quality of the match, at least. They’re taking turns hitting each other very hard on the outside of the ring, and Rusev is now back in control after slamming Nakamura into the barricade.
Rusev gets locked in a heel hook, and now he’s walking around gingerly — it doesn’t keep him from lifting Nakamura and slamming him to get a 2.9 count. The damage is done, however, and Nakamura has a limb to capitalize on later, assuming he can get back up.
This match is succeeding because it’s making Rusev look strong without Nakamura looking weak — Rusev just looks like a big beefy dude who is capable of throwing Nakamura around, but Nak’s smarts and dangerous submissions could end up ruining Rusev Day. They both have their strengths, and they’re on display.
That’s another near-fall from Rusev on Nakamura following a superkick to the side of Shinsuke’s head. Another attempt at a kick fails, and Nakamura starts kneeing Rusev in the throat. Rusev avoids the Kinshasa by throwing Shinsuke into the corner, and then avoids a second with a kick to the face! (!!!)
Maaaan that was almost three, too. Rusev has looked so good, here, and Nakamura just can’t put him away despite being in position multiple times. Now it’s Nakamura avoiding a finisher, though, as Rusev misses his chance to crush, and eats a Kinshasa for it. 1-2-3, Nakamura is your winner.
The pace is indeed set following this match, and in a good way.
Posting Komentar